I started to feel extremely overwhelmed and anxious, and I wasn't really sure why. I had assumed it was because my house was out of sorts, and when my house is a wreck, it causes my mind to not feel settled. I don't like living in an extremely disorderly, messy house. I began to feel anxious. I think it represents how my mind feels whenever my house looks like that. But then some physical symptoms started to come in, which again, I thought maybe was due to my stress and my anxiety and my overwhelm, this kind of impending sense of doom.
These symptoms that I was dealing with got worse and worse and continued to multiply into new symptoms. And you guys, I'm telling you, it was not good. Aubrey was not doing good. I was really, really struggling across the board, mentally, physically, emotionally. I was a mess. Are you tired of feeling overwhelmed as you try to balance the never-ending demands of motherhood, life, and you? Hey, mama, I'm Aubrey, a mom of three, who's been right where you are. Ready for some good news? You don't have to stay stuck.
Welcome to the Mom Intentional Podcast, where we tackle the chaos, reclaim your time, and create the life you have been dreaming of. So grab your favorite drink, take a deep breath, and let's get intentional. Welcome back, mamas, and welcome back, Aubrey, to Mom Intentional. I had no intention of taking any time off from the podcast, but as you have probably noticed, it's been a little bit silent on my end. And so today, I wanna talk to you guys about what my family and I have been through over the last eight weeks, and the lessons that I learned in this very unexpected, difficult, yet beautiful season.
If you have been listening to the podcast for any period of time, you may know that my family has a pretty rough history with mold, and it has wreaked havoc on not just my life, but my children's life. To the point where in our past house, we had to leave and start from scratch in the house that we are currently in. That was five, almost six years ago. And from that time, it has been quite a journey for me to get to the point where I am now, where I'm, for the most part, healthy, and my kids are healthy, and might I even say, we're close to thriving.
And if you've listened to the most recent episodes of the podcast, you know that my husband, Mitch, surprised me over the summer with some new flooring in our house. And when I say surprise, you guys, I had no idea that this was going to take place until the flooring company showed up in my house to measure. He had also decided to gut our master bathroom and our laundry room, and do all new cabinets and tile, and reconfigure the shower to make it bigger and better, and put in a beautiful new soaking tub, and paint, fresh paint.
We reconfigured the laundry room. He put in brand new, beautiful tiling in our powder bathroom. He added in some walls, and a new fireplace, and a new pantry. I mean, he really went all out. Now, all of that was a surprise. I just thought we were getting our floors done. And I learned about the surprise of all of the extra stuff that he had decided to add after we had moved out of our house for a couple of weeks. Now, as the two weeks had come to an end, we came back to the house, and of course, not everything was done.
And so we kind of lived in this construction zone, if you will, where there were tarps, and sheetrock, and walls still out, and tile missing, and that sort of thing. Now, along this time, which was July, I started to feel extremely overwhelmed. And anxious. And I wasn't really sure why. I had assumed it was because my house was out of sorts. And when my house is a wreck, it causes my mind to not feel settled. I don't like living in an extremely disorderly, messy house. I began to feel anxious.
I think it represents how my mind feels whenever my house looks like that. So at first, I thought it was that. But then some physical symptoms started to come in, which again, I thought maybe was due to my stress, and my anxiety, and my overwhelm, this kind of impending sense of doom. And if you've ever dealt with any of that, you know that stress causes a magnitude of different symptoms that are physical manifestations. For a while, I thought that these physical symptoms that I was having, racing heart, migraines, swelling in the face, shooting pains, what felt like a Parkinson's type tremor in my body, almost as if my bones, it felt like my bones were shaking inside.
It was not good. Aubrey was not doing good. I was really, really struggling across the board, mentally, physically, emotionally. I was a mess. It was a few weeks after dealing with these symptoms and wondering what was wrong with me that I eventually noticed in the laundry room some black specks that were underneath the paint. And it looked like mold. So I called Mitch. I told him that I thought there was possibly mold growing on our brand new cabinets. And he said, impossible. It's the spackleding, because we had black tiling put in in our bathroom.
It's probably the spackleding. So I decided to let it go. And lo and behold, the next week, as my symptoms continued to get worse, I saw the same black specks on our master bathroom cabinet. Now you better believe that I knew those weren't there the day that I found the laundry room cabinet specks, because I did not believe Mitch. So I went and checked all the other cabinets and there was nothing on them. So once I saw them on the master bathroom, brand new cabinets that had just been put in, I called Mitch in.
And he recognized that, yes, those indeed looked like mold growing underneath our cabinets our brand new cabinets, less than a month old. We then began to investigate some other things in our house, like a leak on the brand new shower. We had noticed it kind of leaking backwards, kind of dripping funny. And we had a meter reader and Mitch checked the wall and it read extremely high, the sheet rock behind the shower. And then we discovered the same thing over by where the bathtub had been put in and it had leaked and gone underneath the ground into our garage and down our driveway.
And we had ripped out the sheet rock already there because we were so conscious of mold and we had been putting fans and letting air out. We checked the moisture on that wall next and it also read extremely high. And we checked the moisture level using our moisture meter on the cabinets that were showing mold. And they were three to four times higher than the rest of the wood than the rest of the cabinets in our house. And so it was at that point that my stomach fell through the ground and I realized that we were dealing with mold again.
So to sum this story up, for the last eight weeks, I have been on the run. I have lived in friends' houses. I have slept in my amazing neighbor's bed with her while her husband is at shift. I have been in and out of hotels. Your home is supposed to be your refuge. It's supposed to be the place of safety. It's supposed to be the place of peace where you can come and be yourself and relax and let down your guard. But when you're someone that is plagued by mold illness and you've got mold or toxins in your home, it becomes a source of pain and trauma.
And where do you go when you can't go home to be safe? We started with looking into Airbnbs because obviously hotels were not gonna cut it for our family of five plus our three dogs because of course we have Mr. Pickles, Grandpa Joe, and I don't even know if I mentioned it, but we got another little dog, which was not a good choice on my part, but he needed a home, guys, and his name is Colonel Biscuit. He was neglected. So as we started to look at these Airbnbs, I was terrified.
How do you know if a home is mold-free? I mean, how do you know if a hotel is mold-free? Of course, if there's mold growing up the wall, you would have a good safe bet that that's not the place for you, but usually mold is hidden. Both of the houses that I've lived in that have had mold, the mold was hidden. It was not in plain sight. You could not smell it. So how did I know with as sick as I had become that anywhere I could go would be safe aside from a tent outside, which believe me, I debated, but at this point, it was July.
We live in Texas. There was no way I could live in a tent. So as we started to look at these Airbnbs, I started praying and asking God to give me a clear sign that I was in a safe home or I was in a mold-sick home so that I didn't have to wonder or worry. And I had the idea to call the Airbnbs and just ask them if they've had any water damage, anything that could have caused mold. So we did. We booked a place and we messaged them.
And lo and behold, the lady messaged us back and said that they had just had a water leak in their roof and it probably wouldn't be a good place for me to stay. Thank goodness for the honesty. And so from there, we went to a second Airbnb. And as soon as we entered, you could smell the mold, guys. I can't make it up. And I looked straight in front of me and there was a water heater closet that had clearly leaked. The wood floor was bubbled.
The paint in front of it on the wall was cracked and yellow. So we immediately began to pack up our stuff and our dogs who were already in the house and our kids who were so excited to be at a new place. We began to pack it up and ask for a reimbursement and move on to house number three. House number three was 40 minutes away from house number two. When we entered, we decided to keep the kids in our two vehicles. We had two vehicles because we knew we were gonna be gone for at least a month, two months, maybe three.
And so you have to bring a lot with you aside from your kids and your dogs. It's not just a few days worth of clothing, right? It's your coffee maker. It's your laundry detergent. Everything that you use to live had to come with us. So we had two vehicles and quite a bit of furnishings and Mitch and I walked inside house number three and lo and behold, I'm not kidding. There was mold in the windows right there when you walk in. Again, this place had told us mold free.
We packed back up and we got back in our cars. At this point, it had been many hours because these places were stretched out. And so we went to dinner and Mitch found an amazing Airbnb. About an hour from the original one that we had found on the other side of town, but it was beautiful. It looked new. It was a metal building. It's hard to not be safe when you're in metal. And so after dinner, we booked it. We drove all the way out to this other town.
We walked in, again, we kept the kids in the car. I can't make this up. The entire. Thing it was three stories white walls. The entire thing was gorgeous And as soon as I walked into the entrance on my right side There is a large patch of sheetrock that had fallen out of the wall and black mold was growing Through it and up the wall now mind you we had asked these same people Has there ever been mold in your house? Has there ever been anything that could cause any sort of?
m. My kids were tired. We had school the next day because this was a Sunday night and we had nowhere to live So we got back in the car And we drove home and my kids and my dogs and my husband went inside the home He unpacked all of our freezer stuff because again, we were moving out to live somewhere else so we had all of our condiments and all of our stuff from the freezer and Everything that you would need for two months to live and I went and slept again with my neighbor Thank goodness.
Her husband was on shift. But if not, I could have slept on her couch And I watched my family go inside my home and it was really hard you guys That was really tough To not be able to go home and be with my family and not be able to find a safe home after four attempts Thankfully God answered our prayers the next day and we did find an Airbnb and for the first time There were no signs of mold and I literally felt the peace that only God can give come over me And I knew that this whole house was safe for my family and I and so we moved in that day and we were able To stay there 13 days now Unfortunately, the owner of the house had someone booked for that next two weekends away And so we contacted them and asked can we just pay for you guys to stay somewhere else?
Because we knew we needed about another six weeks and unfortunately they declined our offer. And so we had to move out we found another Airbnb I didn't see any signs and I started feeling the same symptoms that I had in my house the Parkinson like shakiness the anxiety this weird overwhelm slash brain fog where I felt as if my head was stuck in concrete or mud and if you've ever Experienced brain fog, you know exactly I mean you can't think you can't process everything feels heavy It's like I couldn't see what to do from a I knew I needed to get groceries but I had a hard time really sitting down and Meal planning and figuring out what was needed and then placing the order.
It was just this foggy There's no other way to describe it this foggy heaviness. That is brain fog So I was really struggling in that house. And again, I prayed I just asked God like hey, I There were no there were no physical signs here so I'm trusting you on this journey because I can't see this is literally a walk of fate and To be honest guys. This is somewhat new for me Because although I like to say I have faith Usually my faith is placed in things that I can still see, you know God gives me signs and this molding a lot of times you can't see it and I saw no signs of mold in this place And I'm not kidding after I said that prayer and walked outside.
I came back I'd started the dishwasher and it had flooded the entire downstairs just The entire dishwasher had flooded it was under the pantry it was moving into the living room I thought what in the world I got down on the ground to look Underneath the dishwasher and the entire front panel was missing the cabinets underneath were stolen This was not a one-time occurrence This had been going on Which led me to believe that God was giving me a sign that there was probably water damage right there in the dishwasher And so I called Mitch.
I told him what happened and he immediately told me to pack up and go I packed up everything for my entire family. I packed up everything for the dogs I made four trips that day, but I got everything out and we found another Airbnb that happened to pop up on the market That day it gives me chills still it was seven houses away from my boys school Two of my boys so we could walk there It was two minutes away from our actual house because this whole time we had been 30 to 45 minutes away from our house The boys schools the boys sports all of the things and it was incredibly hard to continue to go back and forth taking care of our chickens in the backyard and all of the things that we still had to keep going while living far away and Trying to get better.
So this place popped up and it was beautiful. It was a Metal building a barndominium. It was built four years ago. So basically knew only one person had ever rented it We were the second people to be there and it was mold-free and we got to live in that place for another three weeks and it was beautiful and I continued to heal and After all of that We were able to go home The house had been remediated It had been everything with mold had been pulled out So we were now missing a few bathroom walls The one behind the shower was gone the bathroom wall next to the bathtub that shared the Wall of the garage that wall had been taken down.
All of the cabinets had been pulled out We had no furniture in the master bathroom and the bedroom because that all has to be removed when you have mold toxicity Anything that's for us like a mattress Anything cloth like chairs those all have to go They can't be cleaned in the same way that metal or glass can because they absorb and so then we slept on the floor We took Nolan's mattress because he had the biggest mattress and put on the floor in our bedroom and we slept on the floor and Nolan slept on the couch and we eventually got a new mattress in and So then we slept on the floor with a new mattress and then eventually we got a new frame brought in And so now we are sleeping in our bedroom on a big mattress three feet off the ground hallelujah and Last week I got walls put back into my bathroom.
So now when I lay on my bed I can no longer see people's feet walking through my garage because there has been a hole all the way through my bathroom To the garage where I can see people coming and going So I tell you guys all of this to tell you That this is why Aubrey went silent I was really struggling because the systems that I've always taught you guys and the things that I thought Helped me to feel in control of my life when things feel hard they were failing They were not working for me Okay, my Friday prep time.
It wasn't happening I couldn't wrap my head around doing it my meal planning time That system was out the window. I was literally drowning and Grasping for my life. I Was running from the one place that felt safe and so the podcast had to stop mainly because I felt as if I was a fraud as if I was Teaching you guys something that really wasn't working for me in a situation of dire emergency and That's the honest truth, which feels really icky to talk about Feels really yucky to be that honest with you But I want to tell you the positive in this entire journey and that is that God was with me God was with me and he wasn't just with me He literally picked me up and carried me on this journey, you know, I had been praying for Quite a few months previous to all of this mold round two happening.
I've been praying for God to strengthen my faith Be careful what you pray for ladies, but as this journey Happens. I recognized that I had been Honestly a bit of a fool I had thought that if I did everything right in this mold journey that I wasn't gonna have to go through that suffering again We had a whole home filter put on our air-conditioning unit when we moved in here It's $1,000 and it was supposed to take care of any mycotoxins we had air filters made with the same technology that they built the Spaceships in NASA.
We have those air filters in every single bedroom running 24-7 we have had a mold inspection done on our home every single year I have someone come check my AC units. We do visual inspections of our home at least twice a year We have and I know y'all are gonna think I'm crazy But if you've ever been through mold, you will understand we have holes hidden in our walls behind our washing machine Underneath our dishwasher in other areas that I was certain were leaking because Mitch had to cut holes To check to make sure after certain situations happen in this home and yet despite it all despite doing Everything quote-unquote, right you guys We brought mold into this house What are the odds that you're going to get brand new cabinetry and brand new floors and with it comes mold?
I'm pretty sure that story is a story of one I don't know anyone else that has brand new cabinets that have mold growing underneath the paint But it happened to me and It didn't happen by accident What I learned there this entire walk is no matter what I do in my life God is sovereign and God is in control. I am NOT I Did everything right on my mold journey and here I am Literally going through the same thing again Despite doing everything right, but I can't say that I'm mad about it because the peace that I have gained from this journey the understanding of the power of God and what it takes to truly trust him when I was at my Breaking point and let me tell you mama's There were some dark days for me in this there were some dark days There were some days.
I was so angry That what I Created to work was failing me Miserably, I was so livid that there was no place for me to go. It felt safe in the beginning. I Was so angry that I had trusted all of these humans and all of these other doctors To heal me and to do all of these things and and yet in the end of the day None of it works. None of it works It's truly defeating but what I learned is God's glory sometimes will not shine for us if we are in the way and I had to get to a point in my life where there was nothing I could do that was humanly possible to save myself and That's when God stepped in and I was able to grow my faith, but it took a lot of pain It took a lot of not fun this entire season From really July on Has been a walking nightmare for me.
I've never struggled with anxiety like I have over the past few months I definitely struggled with it in my old mold house but this new season was a completely different level. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had no defense for it. I didn't see it coming. I didn't have a warning. It wasn't a slow buildup. It hit me and took the knees out from under me. And so today, if you're listening to this long rambling story from me, I want you to know that if you're struggling, if you're hurting, if you're feeling as if you're doing quote unquote everything right and yet it's not working and you feel as if the rug is getting pulled out from under you as if no matter what you do, it seems to get worse and worse instead of better and better.
I see you and I hear you and God sees you and he is not going to let you fall. It is at that moment when you are at your deepest, your darkest, your hardest moments in life. That's when we can see Jesus pick us up and carry us. But he can't do that if we're in our own ways. And so I hope today that just this story was inspirational for you to begin to lean in to our Holy Father, to begin to ask him to help you, to carry you, to show you his glory and his grace and his mercy because he will.
He will. Even in the darkest times, in the hardest times, that's when his strength shines through. Now, I don't know what the entire future of Mom Intentional looks like at this point. As I've had this time just to recover and go to a lot of different houses and different living environments and work on healing, not just myself, but my family, which is a story for another day. I've really felt by God to share more of my mold journey and what it's like to live with chronic illness and have a family in the midst of mold.
And so at least for the next few episodes, I am going to do a miniseries on mold and what that looks like, because I want to make sure that if you or someone you know is suffering in any form in the way that my family did, that I do everything in my power to shorten that suffering and to help you get out because it is something that you don't prepare for. And it's something that requires God. And it's something that requires others. And so my goal over the next few weeks is to educate you guys on what mold toxicity looks like, what it feels like and how to get help.
So stay tuned, Mamas. And I really hope that today was, if nothing else, a crazy story that inspired you to begin looking for God's hand in your life, because I promise you, He is all over your life. And if you are feeling distant from Him, if you are feeling like you are speaking to Him and you are praying and you are asking Him and He is silent, I hope that you don't forget that He's working in the background, that He has your name written across the palm of His hand.
And that palm of His hand also created not just our planet and not just our universe, but all of the galaxies in the black space in between. And it all fits right there. He's a magnificent God, and He will pull you through. And so until next time, Mamas, I hope that this has inspired you to continue searching for God and His beautiful works in your life. Now go win your day. Hey Mama, I hope today's episode sparked a fire in you to take action and start living with intention.
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