Aubree Felderhoff Welcome back to Mom Intentional. Today is a special treat. am so excited to have on my personal coach, Megan Nielsen, who has helped me to really rebuild my faith. And I am so excited to share her with you. Megan Nielsen is a Kingdom Life coach and author, and the host of the Kingdom Life Coach podcast. She helps women navigate transition seasons, whether that's an empty nest, career pivot, or spiritual crossroads with peace, purpose, and a renewed connection to God's voice. Now in her own midlife transition, Megan decided to go back to school to pursue a master's in biblical and theological studies at Denver Seminary. She's the author of Untangled Faith and Untangled Advent. and is passionate about helping women live deeply aligned with God's calling in every chapter of life I personally have been the recipient of your amazing coaching. and I started really digging into how to hear God's voice because I was really struggling with is this God's voice? Is this my voice? And Megan has been a tremendous blessing and helping me to get clarity. So I'm so excited that you're here but without jumping ahead why don't you tell us just a little bit more about you and your family life, where you live and how you even got into writing and podcasting. Megan Nilsen Well, how long do you have Aubrey? I'll do the short the short answers first. I live in Colorado Springs. I just entered the empty nesting season. We were just discussing that. So I'm a little ahead of you on the parenting journey. My youngest of four is a freshman in college. I have a junior in college and then two just out of college and working mostly working. Yay. Gainfully employed. I've been married for almost 30 years. Aubree Felderhoff Yes. ⁓ Megan Nilsen to my college sweetheart and how did I get into coaching? my gosh, that is basically my testimony. ⁓ So I'm happy to go down that road if you want me to. Aubree Felderhoff Maybe a very short circuit into how you got into kingdom life coaching. What led you to help women with Megan Nilsen Okay, I think that the way a lot of us get into helping professions, is that we see a need that we needed, an area where it's like, man, I have struggled in this area, I learned a lot in this area, I wonder if I can help people now. So that's that's kind of where I come from. I was a school counselor in my younger days and always been volunteering at church and leading Bible studies. So the faith growth piece has been a part of my life for years. And the counseling coaching piece has been a part of my life. But to put them together happened fairly recently. But before that, we adopted our youngest two kids from Ethiopia about. 13 years ago. So we had two grade school age kids. We adopted two from Ethiopia and when they came home, it was very, very difficult. ⁓ Obviously inherent in adoption is brokenness and trauma, which is for obvious reasons. But I guess one way that I've described it over the years is I remember when I was going through the home study training and adoption training. All of the social workers and the guides would talk a lot about the children and the brokenness and the trauma of what they're experiencing and what attachment might look like, how difficult attachment might be. So I was prepared for that, kind of ready to like pull up my sleeves and be like, okay, you know, I'm gonna give you my whole heart. I'm gonna give it my all. And I was not prepared for what attachment would look like on my side of the equation as the mom. I was like, wait a minute, I knew that they would have a hard time attaching to me. But why am I having a hard time attaching to them? And because of that kind of mix and just emotions were very, very high in our home at that time, then my husband's like, baby, you, I think you need to see somebody. You know, you know, it's getting real when your husband's like, I love you so very much. I'm trying everything I can to take care of this family and. You need professional help. So I go to my counselor and she says, and I'm kind of boohooing on her couch like this is so hard. Mother so hard is so hard. I don't know how to do this. I'm afraid we mess up everybody's lives. And caveat, it really was a faith journey of hearing God's voice to expand our family in this way through adoption. And in that crisis moment, I was thinking a couple of things. Number one, maybe I didn't hear God's voice right. Maybe we messed this whole thing up and this was all our idea and God has nothing to do with it. And now we're just in a big fat mess because we didn't hear him correctly. So I'm sharing this with my counselor and I'm expecting kind of a, you know, for her to hand me a tissue and give me a big hug and say, honey, I know that life is so hard and I don't know how you do it, but we're gonna figure it out together. And she did not say that. You can probably tell from the tone of my voice. She looked at me across the room and she said, you know, motherhood is not your highest and greatest calling, right? And I said, no, I did not know that. In fact, that's all I'm doing. So what do you mean? I was like, my gosh. I mean, it was crumbling already. And then I was just sort of stunned in this moment. she was a Christian counselor and she said, Aubree Felderhoff I didn't know that. Megan Nilsen Your highest calling is to be a daughter of the king. If you believe in God and God's sovereignty and God's love over your life, then your highest calling is to be connected with him, to understand that you are doing life with him. He's doing life with you. His his love, the Holy Spirit will fill you. Then after that, everything else, is secondary compared to that. So if you're trying to fill your cup of your soul with the world, which would mean my role as a mom, love for my husband, love for my kids, you name it. We could go down the list of all the things from this earthly world that we try to fill our cup. She said, you will always be frustrated and you will feel like you are empty because none of those people, none of those things can actually fill your cup. And they're not designed to only God is designed to do that. And I was like, whoa. So I left that counseling office just kind of in a daze because I thought to myself, I've been a Christian since I could hold a crayon since I was little. I remember accepting Jesus on the front steps of the church when I was eight or nine years old, know, Christian camps in the summer, like all the things. Maybe a lot of your listeners can relate. Like I know Christianity. I kind of grew up in that space. And then I came to this moment where I was like, I'll use a little bit of language that I'm learning in seminary at the moment, because now I am in seminary. And we talk a lot about functional theology and your confessional theology and so that's in plain terms that's basically saying what do you confess that you believe with your mouth i confess that god is my father that he loves me that jesus died for me that he is my provider that his love fills me up to overflowing i confess those things as my theology i would say this is what i believe my functional theology was very different. wasn't acting as if I wasn't living as if God were my number one that I was kingdom first that he was my provider, and so I was seeing this chasm between what I thought I believe what I wanted to believe to be true and then how I was acting and so we kind of call that the gap and so I've spent the last 13 years incrementally trying to close that gap. And that's kind of what's led me to kind of button up the story to get into coaching and helping other people really learn how to hear God's voice and walk by the spirit and what that looks like, because I felt pretty blindsided in that moment. And yeah, so it's it's a journey I'm still learning to. But that's kind of where I got to where I am today. Aubree Felderhoff That's crazy. I've been working with you for a while and I did not know that whole story. So I love that. So I want to go back. I was listening and thinking at the very beginning when you adopted your kiddos, which was a while ago now, and you were really struggling. I think we all go through seasons, whether adoption or other things, right? Where we're just in that season of, I just went through it myself and I shared about it on the podcast, gritting our way through and struggling and thinking that we might have heard something from God and then getting in this
Megan Nilsen Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.:
Aubree Felderhoff hardship in questioning, like, was that actually God or was that myself or was it the enemy? You know, I think we all question, how do we know that it's God? Do you have on how to decipher more of this is Holy Spirit rather than this is you in your own mind speaking or something else going on in your head. Like, how do we know it's God, especially when things don't go quote unquote our way, right? And we thought, I followed him, I thought. Megan Nilsen I mean, this is the million dollar question, girl. This is what everybody asks, what I ask. And I think the caveat here no 100 % guarantee. Aubree Felderhoff And I know. Megan Nilsen what I experienced in my own life and what I've seen over the years working with lots of women is that we expect God's voice. Well, we want it to be very clear, very concrete, very linear. So I think we're looking naturally in our human perspective. We're looking for a clear direction. Like the joke is always God, if you would just like put the blimp in the sky, if you would just Give me a big, you know, neon lights. Then I would know it's you. And then I would do the right thing. And as I have learned, as I've looked at God through scripture, like there's a reason that the Elijah passage in the Old Testament is so renowned and so known is because Elijah, he was an Old Testament prophet and he was actually running away and he goes into this cave and God says he was going to pass by. And in the story, it says, a big wind came. God wasn't in the wind. A big fire came. God wasn't in the fire. Ultimately, there's a still small whisper, just like the tiniest. You can imagine a whisper of air, and that's where God was. And so I think in one way to answer your question is stop looking for these big, huge moments, signs, not that God can't talk. God can talk however he wants to. He can speak to you in dreams, he can speak to you ⁓ through a prophet that comes up to you on the street and says this, but most of the time, would say 90 % of the time, it is that still small voice and the only way to really hear that still small voice is to get still yourself. what happens is we as human beings, we don't. naturally look towards stillness. The life is busy. Life is noisy, especially moms. So we're speaking to moms here and moms of one, two, three, however many kids you're in the thick and the throes of motherhood. You're probably laughing. Listen to this like there's no stillness in my life. Like Aubrey, you and I have exchanged messages and we've exchanged conversations over the years. And I'm like, you're like Exhibit A of there's no stillness in your
Aubree Felderhoff Exactly.:
you Megan Nilsen in your life and yet you can still find those moments to quiet your soul even if it's 30 seconds, 60 seconds, even if you're like watch the kids for five minutes, I have to go for a walk around the block. Like there's something pretty inherent in how God speaks that is through stillness and through quiet. And that's why it makes it so difficult, especially for moms.
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen in the middle of just all the messy motherhood to feel like they've heard God's voice because they're like, you're basically describing the antithesis of my life. You're describing a stillness that I don't, I don't, I don't know where I would ever get that. And in that moment, that's when I would say then you have to fight for it. God is not some big mystery where you have to like
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen do 180 degrees on your life. mean, maybe somebody listening might feel like, my life is way out of whack, but most of the time, it's these one or two degree shifts that you may have heard about in other spaces and places and podcasts, right? It's not that. And then I think, you your question is how do you know if it's God's voice or your own voice? ⁓ The first answer is you don't, totally. The second answer is you begin to confirm it. So for example, if you have something that's going through your mind, maybe it's a word, a phrase, an idea, a thought. The first thing is don't dismiss it. I think a lot of us are just like, ⁓ I don't know why I keep thinking about that. That's ⁓ like we our first thought is like, like, just get that out of here. And when you don't do business with that thought, when you don't kind of take it, hold it, examine it, you will never know if it's God's voice or your voice. But if you allow yourself the grace and the freedom to say, huh, that's weird. This thought just came through. Let me ask God, like, God, is this you? Is this me? And then see what he says. I always point people back to the Bible, too, because I'm like, God has given us this incredible book I mean the more I study it the more I'm just like in awe of the details and the story of God being with his people that will confirm whether it is his voice or your voice is this align with the character of God is what I'm hearing does it bring love and light and does it point me toward the gospel toward reconciliation towards love and unity or does it point me away from the gospel does it point me toward division, heaviness, strife, weariness. I mean, there are very clear clues. So without belaboring this too much, you can let me know what questions you have because I could talk about this for a long time. Aubree Felderhoff Yeah, I think it is the million dollar question that doesn't have a, straight arrow answer, but I love what you said. Usually when I hear from God, it is not a booming, thundery, what I quote unquote think God would sound like a booming God voice. It's usually in my own voice in my head, but maybe it's repeated for me. It's repeated multiple times or this just happened yesterday with something that I've been praying about and something came up.
Megan:
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.:
Aubree Felderhoff And I knew it wasn't me because I've never thought that about myself. Like it was about fear. It's because I'm afraid of something. And I thought. I'm not afraid. I'm not scared, you know, and then I go to my car to clean it out and lo and behold, we get bulletins at church where you fill in the Lo and behold, I find this random bulletin from a month ago that's like crumpled up. and it was in the way of my cup when I was heading to take my kids to school and I'm like, oh, this is annoying. What is this? I thought it was a receipt. I pull it out and it's exact
Megan:
Aubree Felderhoff same phrase that had popped in my head 20 minutes before that shocked me. And then the two examples given with the two examples that were given to me next. so you can't, at that point I'm like, this is written in scripture right here and it pops up. would call a bigger one. Yes.
Megan:
Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah. And you could dismiss that as coincidence, right? then that's all. But I think what I hear you saying is you didn't say that you might have found like, well, that's weird. And OK, God, what do you want me to know? Because when things come in quick succession in twos and threes like that, that point you Aubree Felderhoff and Megan Nilsen especially if they're pointing you to scripture or something that's very kind of biblically and faith based you like, ah, okay, I'm paying attention. And then it is just our life's work to go, okay, what do you what do you want me to know here, God and trust that he is good and gracious and he will speak to you, he will show you. And it's not usually a linear concrete path. It's usually a little more meandering and wondering and trying things out. I often talk about the work I do with women as being in the test kitchen. sometimes it's like, let's just throw on our apron and get out all the ingredients and say, OK, I want to make a cake, but I don't know. I don't know how this recipe works yet. And you start tinkering around with it and then you try something. You're like, ⁓ that's bitter. That doesn't taste good. Okay, let's try something else. And that to me has been the life of faith that is once I could relax into that. And I'm such a firstborn like people pleaser. ⁓ I like to do things the right way. I don't really want to waste time doing things the wrong way. And over the years, I've really had to work on deconstructing. This is right and this is wrong. And moving towards this is love and this is peace. versus this is heavy and this is anxiety. Those are very different ways of looking at it in my opinion. Aubree Felderhoff Yeah, absolutely. So when you have things that you're asking God about, maybe you're not getting a linear connection or you're not getting that big booming thought, and they don't necessarily take you to one way or the other, peace or anxiety. What do you do with that? Like, what do you recommend women do? Because you know that we all have those prayers that we're praying and we're praying and we're just not quite...
Megan:
Hmm. Mm-hmm. Aubree Felderhoff hearing from God and it could be I've had seasons where it's, I mean when I was on my healing journey, it took seven years to even get a diagnosis to begin to work at the problem and then almost four years to get the right answer. So what do you do when you're just praying and you're not getting an answer
Megan:
I was just looking in my book here. So I wrote this book that you referred to earlier called Untangled Faith, and a lot of it is talking about how do you begin to hear God's voice and what are some very strategic and practical ways to practice this? And so one thing that I love to point people to, and this is in a chapter that's called is silence deadly or golden. So silence is a big one. Like I'm praying and I'm praying and I'm hearing nothing. So I don't know what to do. And so there are three things that I kind of put forth as possibilities. Number one is you can change the question. Aubree Felderhoff you Megan Nilsen Maybe there's a question that you could ask or phrase it another way. Maybe you've kind of been beating this drum for so long and you're barking up the wrong tree. Like, and I use this metaphor of my kids, my teenagers, they would come up to me and they'd be like, Hey mom, I'm headed to so-and-so's house and I'll be back whenever. And I would say, wait, hold up. Are you asking? Are you telling? You know, And if they could rephrase it and say, hey, mom, is it okay if I go to so and so's house? Then we can have a conversation and come to an agreement about the expectation of the guidelines. And if done successfully, I could be like, I hear you. Okay, then go ahead. So sometimes I think with God, maybe we just kind of change the perspective of the conversation. Like, are you asking an actual question that you want to hear the answer to? Or are you just telling him, this is what I'm doing? and then you don't hear his response and he's like, well, what do want me to say? Like you already told me you were gonna go do that, okay. So that was one thing. Number two would be God already told you what to do and maybe you don't like the answer. So this one's a little sticky because for many of us, it's like you probably have that still small voice. You probably have that little feeling that's like I've asked God. He's actually, think he may have given me an answer, but I don't like that answer because that answer would require humility. It would require waiting. It would require apologizing. It would require something that our flesh is like, I don't wanna do that. That's too hard. That's too uncomfortable. I don't want. And so it's like, he's like, I've answered you, but you don't really like my answer. So I guess we're sort of at a stalemate, you know?
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen Or the third way, which is kind of cool, is that God trusts you and you don't need a yes or no answer. And he's basically saying Hey, I'm with you. You're with me. I call you friend. I call you daughter. I trust you. Like the whole kingdom is yours. So go do, go do what you want to do. Go do what brings you joy. And ultimately when you have joy, it brings me glory. Go do it. So I think there's a few different ways that you could kind of look at that question and really get honest about what is actually happening in the conversation that you think you're having with God. Aubree Felderhoff I love that. That is such a better thought than he doesn't hear me or he's not there, which is what I've personally dealt with a lot when I wasn't getting answers, you in my sickness, I thought, I've done something to upset God. You know, I was misguided, obviously, or I am not supposed to receive an answer. Like he's not, he's too busy or, which are all lies. But again, it takes a lot of practice to know what, what is a lie even when you're trapped in that feeling of
Megan:
Mm-hmm.:
Hmm. Aubree Felderhoff for so long being beaten down or scared or upset or whatever it may be and not getting the answer that you're looking for. So I love all of that. Megan Nilsen Well, yeah, to your point, the answer you want is, Aubrey, here is the ticket to your healing. That's the answer you want. So the first answer is, I just want you to just like miraculously heal me, God. If you're not gonna do that, then I want you to show me the doctor or the supplement or you name it, fill in the blank, that's going to heal me. And the other thing that I've been learning a lot lately is God's Aubree Felderhoff Yes, that was mine. Right. Megan Nilsen promise to us is that he will be with us. I'm like, ⁓ so another book that I just read that I would recommend for anybody kind of in the rebuilding faith zone is a book called with just the word with, and it's about kind of re-engaging how we relate to God and it's by the author's name is sky Jatani. So if anybody's familiar with the holy post podcast, he's one of the co-hosts on there, but anyway, what he does is he puts forth
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen four ways that we traditionally relate to God as human beings. And then the fifth way, the alternative, like sort of God's origin is with. So for example, he says, is very common for us to want to live over God, meaning we're kind of like, thanks God, I got this. I mean, thank you for making me, but I can figure out my life. So we kind of live over him with, or we live under God, which would be like, I. I want to mess up. just kind of want to do you just kind of tell me the way I'm supposed to some more behavior modification like I'm living under God. So I'm just going to kind of make sure I don't misstep and we're good ⁓ life for God, which would be I just want to live for you God. So anything I do, I'm going to be a missionary. I'm going to be like this perspective that we just need to live for God and anything less. than that is obviously unsuccessful and life from God. So we are so thankful for our gifts. And maybe some people would phrase that as kind of the prosperity gospel. Like if I kind of live wisely and do what the Bible says that I'm going to get life from God and my life's going to be kind of roses and wealth. So over God, under God, for God, from God. And basically he's in the book. He kind of outlines the shortcomings of each of those perspectives. so at first I was reading that book like, oh, my gosh, this is me. I feel like I can see myself in every one of these examples. And I'm starting to feel kind of gross inside like, oh, I don't think that's his intention. But he writes in such a way that you kind of highlight some of the shortcomings. And then in the end, whole second half of the book is like.
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen God promises to be with us. Like the whole story of scripture from start to finish is God with his people and God redeeming his people, God with us. When Jesus comes, it's Emmanuel, God with us. And so I think some of the kind of the restructuring and reframing, especially for those of you that are rebuilding faith, is beginning to say, God, show me where you're with me. Show me how you're with me. me how you've been with me for my whole life. And you start to see that there are gifts from God. We can work for God, for his glory. Like these perspectives that I just outlined aren't in and of themselves bad, but they are limited. And so that might be helpful for somebody who's wondering how to rebuild faith is just to settle into God, you're with me. What does that look like? Show me what that looks like and kind of the conversation from there, if that makes sense. Aubree Felderhoff It's a different paradigm to look at compared to what I have to say. As you were describing them, I'm like, that's me. nope, that one's me. wait, that one's me. I can see myself all over all of that. What's the right answer then? I don't know. ⁓
Megan:
I know. Yeah. Yep. That's me. Mm hmm. You're like, God, you're with me, you know, and I feel like you, though, Aubrey, have been a really great role model. And as much as you can kind of joke about the limitations and my gosh, that's me. But I've watched you from, know, from my perspective, navigate some really hard things.
Aubree:
failing. Megan Nilsen including mold. And I've heard you talk about God being with you and showing you things about certain houses, about certain spaces that is the perspective of God is with me. Sure, of course, you would like just all to magically go away. And I suppose that could happen. But since it hasn't or it isn't, then you're like, OK, God, show me how you're with me. And I know you I know you could you have dozens of ways that you've seen God with you.
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen in the midst of the suffering, which is just bananas. Yeah. Aubree Felderhoff been very blessed with lots of him showing me that he is with me. But it has been a journey to get there because you know at the beginning I could not recognize him at all. I had no idea if he was talking to me. I felt almost abandoned, which I don't think I am that different than a lot of moms that have struggled with hard things or overwhelmed or are dealing with whatever it may be, whether it's mold, chronic illness, death of a parent, divorce. I have quite a few friends right now that are going through hard things and some of them are really struggling on that faith journey.
Megan:
Aubree Felderhoff speaking of that for these these ladies and myself included that have been there that what do you recommend for maybe someone that is a believer but maybe has fallen away or has felt hurt by God, neglected, rejected, maybe they didn't, you they were praying so hard for something that never came to fruition and they didn't get what they had prayed for with all of their might. And now they're hurt and they've stepped away. What do you recommend for someone like that to begin to rebuild that faith? Because that's a hard spot to be ⁓ in.
Megan:
Yeah, very much so. The first thing that comes to my mind is finding someone who can walk this journey with you. ⁓ This journey of the Christian life, life in general, we're not meant to do it alone. And the first thing that usually happens when we get into that place of hurt, pain, anger, disillusionment, disappointment, is we want to our flesh wants to protect itself. And so it's very natural for us to kind of pull back, pull away quiet into isolation. And I would say the first thing to do is resist the urge to isolate because isolation is so deceptive. Isolation can begin to create so many lies because we're living in our own head in our own pain and the lies just come about God about ourselves about our story. So I would encourage you to find one safe person that will listen to your story that won't dismiss you as being too much or a fool or drama anything like that somebody who will listen to your even better, if it's somebody who loves God themselves, who has walked through this, who would maybe be sort of like a mentor or a really encouraging type of friend, it could be to the point where you, like you, for example, Aubrey, were like, just need, I want to hire somebody to help me through this. So that's what I love to do as a coach, but you can also just start with a really great heart friend. that will listen to you, that will encourage you, and it will also say, let's look for God's hand in your story together. ⁓ So I believe that is probably the first way toward healing is share the story, feel the hurt, and then ask God, what is a redemptive lens? How does he wanna show you his redemptive hand in your life? And then begin to look for those types of things with someone else. or a small group that you can trust that will encourage you because you know as well as anyone, I think moms know this, is that when we're in our own season of pain, there's nothing like someone else coming in and saying, hey, let me give you a hand. Hey, let me walk this with you. That I think is just such a gift from the Lord and it can really change your perspective quite quickly, actually. Aubree Felderhoff Yeah, we are not meant to do any of this alone. That's why Adam was gifted Eve and they are working together. You know, at the very beginning of the story, God said, man is not good on his own. And so from the beginning, I
Megan:
Yeah, it's not good for him to be alone. Exactly. And so, I mean, I feel like that's a huge word right now for probably somebody listening. And I love that you brought up Adam. And God said it's not good for him to be alone. I will create a helper for him. And I'm guessing that somebody listening is think is going, I feel alone. I am alone. And I think Aubrey and I would both encourage you. You're not alone. But that's the biggest lie that the enemy wants to tell you is that you are alone. So you might as well do it on your own and forget everything else. And that's not true. Aubree Felderhoff Yeah, yeah, and with that comes all the shame too. know, once you start to believe I'm alone and nobody else will understand this and the lies, the deceptive lives start coming in and then the shame follows of I can't tell anyone about my story and I can't tell anyone about this and so yeah, just you're never ever alone. Okay, so going on to a little bit of a different direction, but I'm just curious with your book that I personally read and loved and I use it all the time.
Megan:
Aubree Felderhoff untangled faith and your devotional. I'm curious what are some of the most common quote-unquote tangles that you see in a woman's spiritual life and how can we loosen them? Megan Nilsen Oh, man. That's a great question. Some of the common entanglements in the life of faith would be doubt. And doubt is not inherently bad. In fact, I think God is okay with the doubt. But some people get tangled up with I don't think this can be true. I don't think there's any other way around this. And I think probably the untangling is then speak the doubt out loud. Journal it in your own journal. Speak it to a friend. Walk around the block and talk to God about it. Like bring your doubts to God and he can begin to untangle some of those things because I also find a lot of women don't trust themselves. There's an erosion of that women get tangled up with in the life of faith because for all the reasons like every year we live on this earth it just is another layer of pain hurt experience obviously there's good and beautiful and joyful things too but ⁓ there's so many layers and tangled up ⁓ trauma and hurt that that women say, I can't hear from God. He doesn't talk to me. And so a lot of times I think part of the untangling is beginning to rebuild trust in yourself, that you are beautiful and you're worthy and God knows every hair on your head and he knows all the dreams and he knows all the disappointments and he sees the tears. ⁓ So we just think he doesn't see me. He doesn't hear me. I'm not, I can't hear him. and that's not true. So a lot of women get tangled up in that space specifically when it comes to faith. Yeah. Aubree Felderhoff I'm one of those women that has been tangled up quite a bit. That's why I came to you originally is I didn't trust what I was hearing. I doubted a lot of what I thought was maybe God, but I wasn't sure. And so yeah, you were.
Megan:
How would you, now I'm curious for you Aubrey, when you think about kind of the last year and a half or however long it's been on this journey for you, like how would you go back and describe what were you tangled up about and then what has helped you get untangled in your life of faith? Aubree Felderhoff really struggled with what it meant to surrender to God and to fully trust. And he kept repeating to me, and I think, you know, God, I believe God speaks to everyone differently. you go back to the story of Martha and Mary, he's kind of put this on my heart of you look at how he spoke to Mary versus Martha in different situations and it kind of matches their personality. You know, Martha is a little bit of a, I got to prepare for this feast and where were you Jesus? Like Lazarus is, you know what I mean? And Mary is a little bit more of the emotional, he's little more tender with her. I think he speaks to people in different ways depending on how he's created us.
Megan:
Aubree Felderhoff For me, he kind of shakes me a little bit like Martha. I'm more of a Martha than a Mary. I felt very. strongly that he was asking me to be still and to trust him. And I kept saying, but I am trusting you, God. Like, look, I'm trusting you with this and this and this. And he kept presenting to me over and over. Do you trust me with this? Do you trust me with your health? Do you actually trust me with your kids? Like, can you let go of your kids and their future? And, you know, it was a bit of a tug of war between us, really, once I started to learn how to hear him, to learn how to Megan Nilsen Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Aubree Felderhoff Lay it down and actually trust so that was that was where I am and I can say I think I think he was preparing me for this mole journey round two because I did not trust him fully with my health and I had to literally learn to lay it down and if you I mean, you know my story Megan and if you've listened to the podcast over the past few weeks I've been sharing more more about the mole journey, but I had to trust him to walk me into eight different houses and tell me
Megan:
Aubree Felderhoff You're safe here. You guys can breathe in here without mold. Go for it or walk away. This is not safe. I had to do it just one by one. So talk about growing my faith in things not seen, which is what faith is. yeah, that's what I felt. Megan Nilsen Yeah, And I think you're speaking to something that is so at the core of the heart of a mom. Do you trust me with your kids? Even as I say that question, I think both of us kind of get chills and go, I want to say yes. And also, I don't know if I do. I don't want to say no, because that sounds really unfaithful, right? But where does then, where does that trust kind of the confession of trust? I trust you, God, that you are sovereign, that you are protector, that you are father, that you are the giver of good gifts.
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen And then where are we acting as if that's actually not true? We'd like to take it all back. And here's the chasm is when we say, God, I trust you with my kids, probably for most of us, there's this element of fear that's like, but but what if but what if something bad happens to them? But what if like as if we have some sort of control as a mom that can arrange their life in such a way that nothing bad will ever happen. They will never feel any pain. They will never. We all know that this is foolish, right? Because that's not true. But we live as if we can control it and we can't. And so when we surrender, I think that the faith journey is I'm surrendering into the hands of a good God rather than I'm surrendering to like, I don't know. I don't know if God loves my kids as much as I do. I don't know if he knows them as well as I do. You know, all the things like that. And it's fear Aubree Felderhoff Okay, well this has been amazing. I wanna talk to you more, but I know you have things to do and I've got kids to pick up, so I'm gonna go for it. Megan Nilsen ⁓ I don't have anything to do and I'm an empty nest or Aubrey, so let's go for round two. Just kidding. Aubree Felderhoff Well, you just have school, you But before we pop off, I know that you have written a new book, which I highly recommend your first book, but I want to hear a little bit about your new book and where my listeners can find you because I know that they will benefit from listening to you and possibly working with you like I have over the past couple of years. Megan Nilsen thanks. you're referring to untangled advent, hope in a weary world. this really is just a sweet moment of Bible study that is meant to do over the Christmas season. And it's five acts. I have a podcast teaching that goes with each section and then some biblical study reflection and some very practical like heart and soul reflection for yourself. And so that's always how my studies are is some teaching and then some scriptural anchoring but always guiding you towards your own reflection and saying God what do you want me to know here? And I do like to joke that even if you're like, well, I can't finish this before Christmas because I've got too many things to do. It doesn't matter. Like the study is still good in January and February and March. Like Luke chapter one is you can read it any time of year, just so you know. So that's where it takes place in Mary's story.
Aubree:
Megan Nilsen specifically around the angel coming to her and saying, hey, this is God's plan for you. And of course, she's kind of dumbstruck and it's like, how can this be? And then ultimately, what did she say? She says, okay, let it be unto me as you have said, it's like that surrender that you just talked about Aubrey. I just find that so beautiful and fascinating with her story. So it centers there. Aubree Felderhoff I can't wait to read it. how do they find you? Do you want to share a little bit about your podcast? Megan Nilsen Sure, sure, sure. mean, obviously the website is sort of the the house, the warehouse for everything is Megan, M-E-G-A-N, the letter B, Nilsen, N-I-L-S-E-N. So Megan, bnilsen.com. So you find out about podcasts, books. I'm on Instagram and Facebook mostly. So you should link your guest episode on my podcast in this show so people can go back and hear your story too. So.
Aubree:
Yes, it's a great idea. I will link it all at the bottom of the show notes. And it has been so fun to have you on this side. And usually I'm talking to you on your side, show. I'm so glad to you. Same.
Megan:
well, I adore you, Aubrey. just think you're one of the most delightful human beings I've ever met. So I love it. Aubree Felderhoff ⁓ Same. All right. Well, thank you again, Megan.